I'm searching for something...

I'm searching for something... // -->

Monday, March 31

Still

Hide me now, under Your wings
Cover me, within Your mighty hands

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone
Know His power, in quietness and trust

i think about 1 and half year back, aunty pek cheng (one of the church member) wrote a letter to me. it was on the 14th Oct 2006. I was still fairly new to the church then considering my 6th month there? Anyway, i heard of her name before but i don't know who she is and how she looks like. But she wrote a letter to me still - without knowing who i am either. (probably the only thing she knew about me was as "huiling's photographer" which was how she addressed me at the first page. yea i was jie's wedding photographer k.)

in the letter she wrote a coupled of pointers and references to the bible. and she wrote the lyrics of the song - "Still - hillsong". that was the first ever song i was touched by when i went to church a few years back. and in the letter itself, there's this verse "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalms 51:12" What i want to highlight here is that.. it is not just a coincidence she wrote this letter to me. In case some of you think that it is somewhat a form of fortune teller thingy in which any verse shared can also mean something to a person. But here..she wrote the song that is the most meaningful christian song i had and she didn't know me at all. wonderful isn't it?

i just wanna share the last bit of the letter. it says,
"Have confidence in the Lord and have confidence in yourself because Your heavenly Father treasures you." I wanted to share this because i have been feeling down with a few things in my life.. and especially in my studies. I don't know how to go about dealing with this 4th exam in NUS after not doing well for the past 3 exams. there are times when i felt like i retreated somehow..i seem to have lost this something called "confidence". It is hard to brush all that failures aside and start anew.

I prayed and i just shouted within me, "God..what do i do? just come and talk to me. just drop me a verse or something.." I flipped my one-day bible and felt nothing. Yet i just can't proceed to studying without getting an answer or something. And as i flipped open the worship song book just now after feeling so frustrated and lost..there the song "still".

It reminded me of this letter and this verse.
It reminded me of how mighty His hands are.
It reminded me of who is the King of the flood.
And it is as if He is telling me, "Be still. And know that I am God." - Psalms 46:10

that's it. =') whatever that happens.. failure or success or anything, He is God. He is GOD. He will take care of me and everything. It is not about what is going to happen next or my exam or what not.. it is about Him being my God. amen! and this is the peace..that only He can give me. thank you jesus..!

And yes God.. i will be still and know You are my God!

Heli Dont ask me why 7:50 PM

Sunday, March 23

CK's super early birthday dinner @ TAO's Restaurant.

Celebrated CK's birthday on the 22nd March when his birthday is actually on the 11th April. LOL. He has to go for a dental surgery on the 27th March (CK: eh how is it?) which means after that he cannot get to savour nice food for at least a month. So.. we had a super early celebration in view of this and exams coming up for the rest of us.

Bacon & Mushroom Gratin

fruit salad. this is very nice! cold and sweet and salady..!

ham & spud salad. Mmm quite ordinary. the potato was a little hard to me but don't know why jinglin like it. haha.

farm boy splendor. oh realised i didn't try this.

grilled mushroom. the sauce is nice!

Baked atlantic flounder with cheese. Name of food sounds interesting but then i thought the fish was a little plain..yah.

tao's oven roasted beef (i think) didn't try haha. CASS lah didn't offer me. =P

tao's grilled chicken. yeah not too bad, i like! if not for late lunch i would have finished it!

home made chocolate moose. serving looks pretty small.

ice grape mallow tea - this tea is nice! quite fragrant and sweet and strong in taste!

And CK with his birthday dessert - yam ice cream!

Us at TAO's restaurant.

we went for movie after dinner - STEP UP 2. watched it the second time lah. haha.. well the guy from the movie is really shuai! so i don't mind watching it again. anyway it was CK's treat. =P can't expect me to pay to watch a movie second time right!

then we went to have supper at Rochor's Tao Hui. and finally decided on bus to go back when no taxi allowed us five to board their car. Took 147 back and along the journey, cass (as usual) took a lot of photos of herself which i shall not attempt to upload here. Ha i know yingxian is going to ask me to send her.

more shots while waiting for bus to come.

tata. there's about it!

Heli Dont ask me why 10:21 AM

Pulau Ubin Trip with HISC Kids - 22nd March 2008

Woke at 6am and reached XHPS (Xinghua Primary School) at 7.30am to meet the children. Haven't wake up so early for a long time. Anyway gathered and took attendance and off we go to Changi Jetty to board the bumboat! (below)

The bumboat to Pulau Ubin. Used to always dread taking this boat to camps few years back. And now i'm visiting Pulau Ubin as a... "tourist"

Weijie & Eason. Chose to upload this picture because i find the two of them with very innocent looks! Ain't they very cute?

The children whom were under my care that day. Hah i kept threatening them to behave if not i will throw them off the boat. My little girlys.

Look at the coconut trees! "territorialized" by the money plant growing on their stems. Poor thing haha they can't help but let them be grown on their "body".

Mama. Me. Karjun.
Took this photo while the children were doing their drawing. Don't know what kind of postures we are doing. Hah. Nothing better to do.

This is the biggest extinuisher i have ever seen in my life. Weighing 50kg! (heavier than me!).

And finally a combined shot with the PLMGS girls who run the program that day. Probably around 80 of us in the photo. Weee!

Heli Dont ask me why 9:33 AM

Thursday, March 20

15th March - Jay's commissioning Parade

Once again, i was at Safti MI, invited to attend a officer commissioning parade. This was my 3rd time already. First was Zhiwen's, and then Youcai's and then tada.. his! Wonder would i have anymore chance to see again in future. Anyway, was very impressed and felt very honoured at the parade. I like to see such parades actually, you will catch me seeing the first part of NDP every national day. Especially the colours party (those carrying flags) when they come in! Didn't manage to take a good photo of them though. But i thought in the whole parade, they are really the best! While first uniform contingents are called "cream of the cake", the colours party are the so called "cherry on top of the cream!"

testing out the background which i have chosen when jinglin did not like the previous photos taken and picture taken by cheekean. (must mention all their names)

tada!

after the background was being approved, quickly retook another pic with jay again.

and we are the supporters of Jay! (jinglin's hand on my shoulder looks as if it is Cheekean's hand. LOL)

and that's us at jinglin's hall eating the Ah Lian beehoon. it's because of this Ah Lian beehoon that i gotta stayover at her place. haha. and while we were eating, we "force" yingxian to look at us eat. and she's the one in the com. looks like dead person's photo right..? =P

16th March - LSBC Honouring Banquet
Yet another honouring occasion haha. Was honoured this time as Team Leader and Brigade Officer. Actually, i was quite pai seh to go initially because i felt that haven't done much. Well, but somebody mentioned that just take it as being privilege to be able to attend the dinner with so many leaders and be spurred to be like them too. so yup!

me and carol and jie.

me and mummy :)

Heli Dont ask me why 8:15 PM

Wednesday, March 19

I am a friend of God
who am i that You are mindful of me
that You hear me when i call
is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing

I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

God Almight, Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

He calls me friend...
He calls me friend...

just felt like posting up this song lyrics. kept humming it in my heart today. its nice to know that i have such a wonderful friend like Him. =)

"I am a friend of God He calls me friend."

Heli Dont ask me why 1:24 AM

Sunday, March 9

Belajar untuk ujian Bahasa Indonesia

sekarang saya belajar untuk ujian di selasa. tetapi, saya ada backache, tidak enak sekali. saya ada dua ujian - matematika dan bahasa indonesia. Saya harus belajar sampai baik, karena saya mau ada baik hasil untuk Tuhan saya, Ibu saya.. dan orang yang lain.

Untuk Mbak Joanne dan Mbak Jolene:
dear tuhan, saya mau berdoa untuk teman saya namanya joanne dan jolene. sekarang kami belajar untuk ujian di senin dan selasa. Saya mau berdoa Tuhan akan bantu kami, waktu kami lupa, Tuhan akan bantu kami ingat. Saya juga berdoa Tuhan akan memberikan kami peace dan courage dan joy waktu kami sedang membuat ujian. Saya ingat di alkitab ada satu verse: "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads to only proverty" Proverbs 14:23 Jadi kami believe Tuhan akan bantu kami. Terima kasih Tuhan kami. Kami cinta Tuhan. Amen.

mari kita lebih oil!

Heli Dont ask me why 11:34 PM

Sunday, March 2

Press on ngheli!
Its so hard to get down to work. I'm having trouble with just completing one reading now. Can't seem to focus and there are many more to go.

My mind kept running to think of other things thats non-studies related. Thinking of doing up the plan for campfire, do some planning for mummy's bday, sort out my photos in my com, do a cell album and upload some on facebook.. anything other than studying.

think its all about perspective and attitude towards certain thing. it really takes a different view of what we constantly have to do - for me that would be studies. i find it a chore rather than a joy to study (altho i hope i can study for honours year because i don't wanna go into the workforce so early). It takes me to sit myself down for a while and rational with myself that whether happy or not, i still have to do it, so why not do it happily.

to me studies is not easy. plus, i keep thinking my english isn't up to standard. ah har. see? i keep thinking my english isn't good enough. it is my thought. our thoughts often affects what we do largely. when you think you are good at something, you enjoy doing it, and you get better at it. same for the opposite, you think you ain't good, you keep fearing it, and it gets worse in most cases.

and whats worse is sometimes you rmb those attempts when you have truly failed to achieve what you intend to. it just doesn't help you to continue to work on things better. but...

"..one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize or which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13 - 14

Conclusion? I better start praying i will fall in love with studying soon.

dear god, i know that we are all different people that you've made. i ask of You now to grant me and to renew my heart and mind to take a different perspective of studying. when i find it difficult to finish a reading, God may You grant me the perseverance. when i find it hard to form words for a report, may You miraculously and graciously drop the words into my head and help me. when i think of giving up and feel lousy, Jesus come and motivate and cheer me on. thank you Lord. may i look upon You as an example for you have been through much worse than what i'm going through now. i'm gonna trust in You to help me. in Jesus name i pray, amen.

Heli Dont ask me why 4:44 PM

Personal